A Decade of Regrets, by Niki Pop

Going through my listening history of the past 10 years is a useful exercise in more ways than one. Not only did the process yield a list of nineteen best albums. But I also discovered a whole trove of stuff that I loved very much once, and now, can no longer listen to. It's embarassing; it hurts my ears; it isn't very good; it's hokey and cute in a way that dates it; all of the above.

True, this isn't really part of the Paulies. But I wanted to share these gems with y'all. What did you used to love that now makes you cringe? How have your tastes evolved in the past 10 years?

In no particular order:

(1) Babyshambles, and anything else involving Pete Doherty. There was a point in my life when I imagined myself very obsessed with Pete Doherty. He was cute, kind of, in a vulnerable I'm-in-a-band sort of way. And the music sounded enough like rock to get me through the day. But five years later, I can confidently say: This guy is a schmuck! What's more, he can't sing, and his lyrics are just plain dumb, and the music overwrought and uninspired. Fail, Niki. Fail.

(2) CoCoRosie. The song "Ohio" is very good, but that's because someone else wrote it. Everything else is them playing with toys in their bathtub while high on ketamine. The concept is better than the execution. Ah, kitsch doesn't age well.

(3) Princess Superstar. I needed some electronic music, and loved the idea of a hard-rocking female MC, which is probably why I suffered her 2005 album, "My Machine" for at least a year before I gave up. Today she has the same cutesy/edgy quality that makes Vice magazine abhorrent.

An example from "The Classroom:"

My, um, um, ancient speaking report
Is on my great-to-the-50th-power grandmother whose name was Superstar
I am the descendant of a duplicant
A cycophant from a cloning plant*Pause* (no telepathing, Coke Is It!)
Right, uh, the year of her was 2080
Understandably illusive since we don't count time anymore maybe
It's a bit hazy, but Superstar was crazy
An entertainer back when there was entertainment, pleasure for payment
So that everybody would stop their complainin'
She was very very bad, and I don't mean bad meaning good
I'll explain how bad Superstar was if I could

(4) Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. Sorry, Ted. This guy will disapper. I kept putting songs like "Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?" on mixes for people, but when they came onto the mix I'd skip them and feel guilty.

(5) Scout Niblett. Another one where I loved the idea of her so much I probably forgave the fact that she was kind of awful. A tiny British girl who plays the drums (only) and very cutely howls along about death in a reedy little girl voice. Everyone I knew tried to stop me, but I wouldn't listen. Internet research reveals that Jens Lekman covered "Your Beat Kicks Back Like Death," which I guess might give her some legitimacy to some, but artiness aside - aaaargh! Thoughts?





(6) Death Cab for Cutie/Transatlanticism (2003)
I've probably heard this album 1,000 times, if not more. Today it makes me want to kill myself. Not only is it maudlin and overwrought, but it’s bleak. That it’s so well-crafted musically makes it all the more dangerous. I can't keep it down for this:
The glove compartment is inaccurately named and everybody knows it, so I’m proposing a swift orderly change:
‘cuz behind its door there’s nothing to keep my fingers warm, and all I find are souvenirs from better times.

(7) Joanna Newsom. See my earlier post re: our generation will never be forgiven for Joanna Newsom. Quirk, novelty, and technical talent shouldn't be viable substitutes for listenability. Right? I mean, it is cool that she can play the harp and everything, but how long can you stay in the room when "The Milk-Eyed Mender" (2004) is playing? Don't lie.